The Secret to Networking: Learn to Listen and Ask the Right Questions

Hello and welcome. Today on the podcast, I want us to look at networking situations, especially where someone asks you the question, what do you do? Now Remember that for our purposes on this podcast, networking is not only when you're at networking sessions, formal networking sessions like maybe I don't know, let's say Nigerian Medical and Dental Association, you know, Lagos chapter or only chapter and then you go and attend.

So that's a formal networking kind of thing. So not just that formal networking sessions, but also online because on LinkedIn, you know, lots of interesting, lots of interesting Nigerian professionals on LinkedIn. So once in a while people send connection requests, you know, you start chatting and then eventually somebody asks the question, what do you do? So I want us to look at that today because a lot of you don't have a good plan for how to answer that question and for what to do next.

Because most people, when somebody asks you what do you do, you just try and give a summary, you try and give your elevator pitch and then you just move on. And that's not really helpful. So you've told the person, OK, this is what I've I do. And then you've closed the conversation down and you have no idea who this person is. You don't know if it's worth, if this person is worth building a relationship with. So that's what we're going to explore in today's episode.

If someone asks you what do you do either in a networking session when you are live at the venue or maybe they send you a message on or connection request on LinkedIn. Yeah. How do you answer that question and how do you keep this conversation viable? How do you keep the conversation going? Now, before we jump back in, I want to talk to you all about IKSF dot Ng, that is Ekanga Software Factory. IKSF dot Ng, it's something that some friends of mine have been working on and it's supposed to be for Nigerian founders.

So if you're a Nigerian founder, you're having problems building your products because of software concerns. Maybe the software developers you're talking to are too expensive, you don't know how to write code, you don't have a tech founder, then you can go software factory. IKSF dot Ng is here to help. We're going to have your product live in seven days. And then you're also going to get a free.com dot Ng domain also with free hosting for one year.

And then whatever it is that you create with IKSF dot Ng belongs 100% to you. So if you want to migrate, move to another service provider, it's not a problem. We can help you migrate or we've even built the feature so that you can migrate the whole thing on your own so it belongs to you. So if you want to join 10 Nigerian founders, excuse me, then we're going to help build their businesses before the month of August. All you have to do is, excuse me, go to iksf dot Ng and then start your first project.

Then you enter in the discount code. So you'll get 20% off. All you have to do is just type in TAV that is TAV or a YEDE that's IED. So type in TAV or IED and that's going to give you 20% discount. So back to the question, what to do, sorry, how to answer, how to handle the situation where somebody asks you, what do you do? Now, the reason why we're doing this today is because I was having a conversation with someone on LinkedIn.

I'm not going to use the person's name. Let's just call the guy Shaolin. So I was talking to Shaolin on LinkedIn and Shaolin said that his name, sorry, that what he does is he's a marketing monk. And I thought, OK, interesting, you know what's a marketing monk? And so I asked him and he made reference that OK was like a nickname that he was given. And his his answer was that the marketing monk is, and I'm going to read his message, a calm,

analytical and relentless about growth, one that can build smart marketing systems who foresees the long term, starting with small steps of the now that connect brand, audience and revenue in ways that are practical, scalable and results driven. Then he followed up by saying, have a productive day. I repeat, I'll, I'll read the message again. Some of you will be struggling to, you know, catch up. And I I don't blame you.

This is also one of the reasons why I say, you know, when you're introducing yourself for talking about yourself, all these, you know, snap, snap, snap in jargon, you know, jargon. Oh, I put it now, what is jargon? You know, expressions that people are already used to, OK. Like for instance, if I'm talking to another person because my first degree was in law, if I'm talking to another lawyer and I say rest is a rest, it's a in kasasua.

The guy knows what's up because we both went to law school. The rest of you be thinking rest what you know, or do I say nimble that like it's something my wife and I say, you know, it's a Latin expression, but we both learned it in law school. So something happens and she just says, Oh, Nemo that and I understand because we went to law school. Another person be like Nemo. What? So we have all these shorthands that exist in different professions.

So tech people like to talk a certain way, marketing people like to talk a certain way. A lot of people like to talk a certain way. Engineers have like to talk a certain way, but you forget that when you're introducing yourself to someone. If you use all that inside Jaggon, people don't understand. So there was a time when I used to pick on software developers because we say, oh, what do you do? And the person will say I'm a front end, back end software developer.

OK, Now in your inner circle you will know what that means. But for the longest time, I personally had no idea. When somebody says I'm a front end, back end software developer, like OK, front end, what back end? What? The only front end I know was related to something else. The only back end I know is related to something else. So you've lost me and you've lost a lot of people. When they ask what do you do? You say, oh, I'm a software, I'm a, I'm a front end, back end software engineer, OS certified,

Google, Linus C++. You have, you've lost 95% of the people that you're talking to. On the other hand, if you say you're a marketing monk and say, oh, what's a marketing monk? And your response is a calm, analytical, relentless about growth, one that can build smart marketing systems who foresee the long term while starting with small steps of now that connect brand, audience and revenue in ways that are practical, scalable and results driven.

You've lost, like you've lost 99.999% of people. Now. For those of you who are in the marketing space, you can listen to what I've just read and you know exactly what the guy is trying to say. Ordinary people like me, we have no idea. Lots of it just went over our heads. And then the guy ended the message by saying have a productive day. You see the guy, don't shut him down. You shut the conversation down. So have you learned anything about the person that you're talking to?

Nope. Have you spoken about yourself? Yes. It's not effective networking, No, because you spoke about yourself, but you don't know who it is you're talking to. Is there any future opportunity for business you don't know? Can you guys collaborate on any project in the future? You know, you don't know, like you don't know, you just shut it down. Now how about this? I tried to rewrite it and make it still sound marketing because you marketing people, you guys like to talk your marketing marketing.

So let's just leave it like that. So I came up with an alternative or somebody else. What do you do? And you can say, oh, I take a calm data-driven approach to growth. I build practical systems that start small but scale up and I ensure that your brand identity turns into real world revenue over the long term. Now for me this is too long and I will never recommend that any of you talk like that, but I know that you marketers like to talk like that.

You would like to talk about data-driven, you would like to talk about systems, you would like to say scale up, you would like to say brand identity and you people like to say long term revenue. So I make sure that I put all those key, key, key, key key key terms there so that anybody who is a marketer, all right and who listen to what I said will say yes, correct. But for me, too long, way too long. But let's just assume now that this is good because marketers will like this.

This is what I recommend. Instead of saying this whole thing, I take a calm, data-driven approach to growth. I build practical systems that start small but scale up, and I ensure that your brand identity turns into real world revenue over the long term. Instead of saying everything like that into one big definition, bam, what you do is this, this whole thing that we've said, we'll take that as your USB, Abby. USB meaning, you know, unique service, unique selling proposition, the reason why people do business with you or the reason why people should do business with you.

That's what you want to put out into the world, Abby. Good. Now this is what you do. You take this, your USB, you've noticed now this and that we've composed, you know the thing they breakable into different stages. What you do is you will take each stage and just throw it out small. Then you now get feedback from the person that will prompt the conversation. OK, so whatever your USB is or your what do you call elevator pitch?

Elevator pitch, so you can say it in 20 seconds. What you do, you take the elevator pitch, it can be broken down into a few segments. You take one segment, throw it small, ask a question, get feedback, conversation will continue. Throw the next one, ask question. Conversation will just the true, true, true and then be asking question. The conversation will be flowing, you have a chance to boast about yourself. You will get a chance to know who the other person is.

You'll now be able to figure out this guy self or this babe you know. Should I continue? Should we keep in touch or is this one a Walker pass? You know nothing day here. So this is my recommended approach. Keep a conversational, throw out small elements of your USB, get feedback. While you're doing that, you'll be able to do qualification and discovery. Qualification and discovery is the part of the business relationship or the part of the selling conversation when you are talking to people about who they are, what they want, what their needs are, what their motivations are, what their desires are, you know, things like that.

These are the things that help you to figure out who am I talking to? Is this person a serious person? Could he be a future business partner? Could she be a future stakeholder at my company? Could she be a future investor? Could she be a future ally? Could she be a future trading partner? Could they be, you know, on and on and on and on. It is qualification and discovery that helps you to answer all of these questions.

So now let's break it up. Somebody says, what do you do? So I'd like to take a calm, data-driven approach to growth. Dana, as the person, how do you approach marketing in your business? Bam, quiet. You were here. We were booking it down into some stages. The first one is, what do you do? Oh, I like to take, I'm a marketer. I take a calm, data-driven approach to growth. Oh, by the way, what kind of approach do you use for marketing in your business?

You throw it back to them. The person will start to talk. If the person says that, oh, actually I'm in paid employment. I work for Shell. OK, you now know that OK, this person is not in paid employment. If you prefer talking to people, sorry, this person is not in self-employment, is not in business. If you prefer talking to only business owners, you now have the first inkling that this person OK is a worker pass. Like no need, no need for me to do invest my time here because the person said oh I don't have a business.

I work for Shell, but of course, we know that boys and girls will work for shared and get money. So I would recommend that you still continue say, oh, really working show Oh, in more capacity. You see conversation, the flow, the flow, the flow. You get to learn about the person. Just because you didn't give elevator pitch, you broke it down. I take a calm data-driven approach to business growth. I'm a marketer. I like to take a calm,

data-driven approach to business growth. How do you approach marketing in your business? The guy go yarn or the babe go yarn. By the time they talk, talk, talk, I say, oh, you know, I also like to build practical systems that start small, but eventually we kind of scale up. They not throw it back to the person. So what kind of scale or what areas of focus do you currently have, you know, around your marketing and your business?

Now throw it back to them and then you hear what is that they have to say. As the person is talking, you're learning more about their business, what they're trying to do, what they're trying to achieve. The more the person talks, you're now getting a sense, could this person be a potential customer? Could this person be a potential investor in my business? Can this person be your collaborator? Can this person introduce me to someone, see how it works?

Then as soon as they are now to talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, you know, you just say, oh, and you know, funny, you were talking about brand identity earlier, you know, so with my own business, I like to make sure that brand identity turns into real world revenue over the long term. Then you now throw it back to the other person. Do you guys run only brand campaigns or you guys try to make money now from your marketing efforts?

The person will talk some more about his business and what it is that they've been trying to achieve and the kind of campaigns that they are running. Is it not when the person is talking like they can now say, funny you mentioned that my partner and I, we specialize in so, so, so, so can we have a meeting next week? We can come to your office. That's how you do it. So this kind of thing, yes, was too long. But assuming you've memorized your, your elevator pitch, as they call it, don't deliver it at once.

OK, Break it into whatever you bring one small aspect of your USB, you say it, then throw it back to them. Ask questions as relates to their USP. Do talk some more. The more they talk, we're going to be able to figure out a few things. We're going to be able to figure out, is this person a potential client? If it sounds like, OK, no problem, let's see how we can set up a meeting. Let's see how we can set up a future call.

You'll be able to figure out if this person is not a potential client. You'll be able to figure out, is this person someone worth building relationships with, maybe because they can be a future business partner, maybe because, you know, they're industry stakeholders and it'll be nice to just be in touch with them. And maybe because they're government regulators, or maybe because they sound like, you know, they're rolling with people who are in circles that are important to you.

It is only from asking them questions like this conversation back and forth that your networking session either in person or either online will not make sense. It is from having conversations like this that you'll be able to know a lot more about the person's business so that you can now start making future connections in your head. You know that when you're talking with some people, no idea will click now, but because you had a rich conversation, by the time you sleep, wake up, you say, ah, synergy day synergy,

synergy. You now start coming up with ideas. OK, that guy that I saw at Kunle's place, you know, wanting, wanting this connection, this connection, that guy. And then plus Suzanne, you know, if we run him like this, let me call that guy. That is how you can make the connections. If all you do is going around telling people that I'm a, I'm a front end, back end software developer, they now keep quiet and say, enjoy the rest of your day.

But like how you network your way to progress. And if all you do is go around. So let me read this thing again. Let me scroll. Where is it? If all you do is go around telling people in real world or online that what do you do? Oh, I'm a marketer. I take a calm, data-driven approach to growth. I build practical systems that start small but scale up, and I ensure that your brand identity actually turns into real world revenue over the long term.

If that's what you do every day whenever you meet people online or in real life, then you know, don't surprise that things know their move for you. So I'm not going to say get rid of your elevator pitch or get rid of your USP statements or, you know, all these wonderful clever little tools that we have. But number one, Raiders of industry jargon removal, the industry jargon #2 take it, then break it down into small, small steps.

Each time you say one element of your USB, your unique selling point, you throw it back as some question and it's what is that they have to say? So let's pretend that I was only a podcaster and I'm not a podcaster. If somebody comes to me and says oh, what do you do? And my own statement is I run Africa's. I run Africa's longest running, longest running and most credible business podcast. Been running for over 7 years with 1500 episodes.

And you know that whole spiel, If I don't say that and I keep quiet, like who? Yep. When they ask me what do you do? Now let's pretend I'm only a podcaster by the way, I'm not. I'm a former lawyer now business consultant. But let's pretend that lawyer and consultant, it's not in the picture. So what do you do? So I run Africa's largest business podcast. You know, have you thought about podcasting as a business strategy, you know, for your own business?

And I'll keep quiet the person would a young if what I'm doing is podcasting from the answers to those questions, I now know whether this is somebody I can toast to say, you know what, let me produce your podcast for you. Or I run Africa's largest and run Africa's largest whatever business podcast. But have you heard about podcasting before? So of course I have. Oh, really, what kind of shows do you listen to? You know, from there with the Yan, with the Yan, with the Yan,

you know, I'll be able to source the guy out or source the girl out after a while. Is this person a potential client? Is this person worth building relationships with? Can we partner in the future? I'll be does a guy know somebody who knows somebody maybe in the future can make one or two connection, you know, synergies day any Ave. for cooperation. Engage people in conversation. Remove the industry jargon. Don't just spit and cut.

The whole point of networking is not for us to talk about ourselves. It actually is to figure out who exactly are we talking to. Because there are situations where I think this is one that I heard this guy talk about. What's his name again? Homosi. Yeah, Alex Homosi. He went to a place, you know, just normal networking session and so in just The Chew and then somebody walked up to him. The person didn't know who he was and so they started talking and the guy just the you know,

the guy, just the brown bullets as in his mouth would not just the guy was talking about everything. His software there is this is this is that you know, first class wanting, you know, he didn't know who he was talking to. Then you know, he finished. He gave his business card to Alex Mosi. Then he left. Now somebody must have told him that that guy with the young with you know who that guy be now Alex be that now say who is Alexa Mosey guy, check your phone.

You say, hey, another guy be this. You know, I came back. I started apologizing, apologizing, apologizing. Alex was like, oh, no, no, it's cool. It's all right, there's not a problem. The now guy now wanted to try and book appointment. What the heck can come and you know, come to the office so that Alex will give advice on one or two things. Some of you, when you go to networking sessions, you're not trying to figure out who is in the room.

You might be speaking to somebody who is the key to unlocking your destiny, but you don't know because your own focus is I just want to come and talk about me, me, me, me, me. So for networking, the focus is to figure on who I am talking to. Is this person a potential client? Is this someone worth building relationships with in the future? That's the main thing. It's not about you. So stop showing up and spitting and then cutting.

Show up, spit small, throw it back feedback. Like that lobby back and forth. If your USB has three elements, every three items built into it and you take this approach, small statement question, small statement question, you can have a good 15 minute conversation with someone by the time you leave there, you hold the guy business card you know, or the baby's business card you know, at least by the time you reach out. So you know what, now you tell the business guy throw it away or like, OK, this guy, this babe, this one makes sense.

You now compose text message and then send. Hi, this is Alex. We met at British Council alumni UK meeting. It's pretty nice talking to you, especially enjoyed our conversation around so so on. So I'm looking forward to keeping in touch, you know, enjoy the rest of your day. Then you now sign Alex, send puke, that's it. The message you show on the other persons phone you say oh okay, is that interesting guy that I met this evening.

That's it now. So networking don't start. So that's the focus. So thank you very much for listening to today's episode. And that's all folks pretty much. But remember, if you're a Nigerian founder, you want to build your product and you're facing software issues, just go to Ekanga Software factory IKSF dot Ng and will help you get your product live in seven days. Whether you know code or not, whether you have a tech, a tech cofounder or not, whether you're rich or you're poor, we're going to get you moving because we want to make sure that Nigerian business people launch.

Then if you go ahead and create a project with us, you're going to get a free.com dot Ng domain and free hosting in one year. Remember, the business idea is yours belongs to you. Whatever you create is yours, it belongs to you. If you want to migrate and you ask us and we'll help you migrate out. But if you want to migrate quietly, you don't want us to know, that's not a problem. The inbuilt features are there. Become migrating yourself and then remember for 20% off, just use the discount code TAV that is TAV or Ayede AYEDE when you go to IKSF dot Ng.

And if you do that, please reach out to me on 08064662140. Let me know. I went to your boys. I tried our IKSF. Let me know. I want to be sure they're taking good care of you because these are guys that I know. If they're not taking good care of you, let me know so I can call them up and say hey dude, this is not what we agreed. So that's it. And that's all for today. Thanks for your time and attention. I'll catch you all some other time.