The Confidence Lie: Why Motivational Speakers Are Hurting Your Sales

Hello and welcome to the podcast. Today we're going to talk about how to gain confidence or how to get confidence when selling. The reason why we're looking at that today is because people have misconceptions when it comes to this sort of thing. You are new to business and new to sales. You're trying to sell something and people just say, you know, young man, be confident or you know, you're a woman, I'll be confident.

You're a young woman, you're not a girl anymore. Be confident. And because of that, people do not understand what confidence is or how confidence plays into selling. Now, confidence isn't something that comes before you do the thing. Let me repeat, all of you who are running around telling people that look isn't our sales, be confident. You're getting it wrong. Confidence does not come before you do the thing. Confidence comes after you do something.

Let me repeat, confidence doesn't come before. Confidence comes after you do the thing. Oh, First off, introductions. My name is Tava Shima Ayedi. I'm a former lawyer turned business consultant. In case you're listening to the podcast for the first time. And if you like these sorts of things, how do you sell? How do you grow your business? How do you grow your revenues? Then make sure you subscribe to the podcast on Spotify, on Apple iTunes, on YouTube, or any player of your choice.

And if you'd love to connect with me, you can call, send me a text message or a WhatsApp message on 08064662140. So, yeah, we're talking about how to get confidence or how to gain confidence when selling. And that's because lots of people think you can just tell somebody, come on now, be confident, no B sales. And then they will just share somehow confidence will materialize. And I was trying to explain before I introduced myself,

before I took that little break that confidence comes after you do something, not before. Now this is how you define confidence. I'm not going to talk about the dictionary definition. Confidence is that feeling of I can do this. And for those of you who are worried that your salespeople can't sell well or maybe you are in business and you can't sell well, you think that by looking at yourself in the mirror, you'd be telling yourself I'm confident, I'm confident, I'm confident.

Because of that, magically you'll just feel as if I can do this. Now, unfortunately, that's not how it works. Confidence is I can do this, but the feeling of I can do this usually comes because I have done this thing before and I did it successfully. Even if I did it wrongly. At least now I know one or two things that can't work, so therefore I'm confident. Maybe 3-4 podcast episodes ago I was talking about similarities between sales and chess and it's the same thing.

The reason why I can step to the board and be confident as a chess player is because I have played it before. I have succeeded before and there are times that I have messed up severely. But the combination of those two, the times any what and the times where therefore I know that I should be able to have a steady hand so long as I'm in this kind of situation, that kind of situation that is confidence. Confidence is I can do this thing because I have done it before.

So the confidence speaker is confident not because he stood in front of the mirror said I am huge, I am magnanimous, I am blessed, I am ample, I am abundant, I am confident. No, that's not what they did. The confident speaker, believe me, is confident on stage because he or she, they've done it before. The confident lawyer that you see, because of course, you know I should be a former lawyer, is not because they manifested confidence, is because they have done the lawyering before.

They have done the research ahead of time. They have familiarized themselves with the position before they show up in court to start arguing the motion in front of the judge. They are confident because they have done the thing before, not after. The confident doctor, the confident salesperson, the confident architect, the confident pilot, the confident whatever. Even the confident village chief or DBR, they're confident because they have done the thing before.

So for those of you who keep shouting, no, B Sales isn't not talking. Be confident. What you're actually trying to tell your people is you're trying to tell them, find courage. Now, what is courage? Courage is, I'm afraid, but I have good reason to go ahead. That is simply what courage is. For those of us who are married now, young men remember, like not primary school into junior. Secondary school is that baby or class that you like.

You like being, you know, but you don't know how you go and play with her or how you say what's up or how you sit next to her. What you needed at that time was not confidence. What you need at that time was courage. I'm afraid I like being. I think being doesn't like me, but I can find good reasons to go ahead. What you're looking for is courage. So there are lots of good reasons to go ahead. One good reason to go ahead is I've prepared or I've studied or I know the framework or I know what to expect.

I know what to say. I know what the risks are. The risks are not really that big or so long as I avoid this aspect and that aspect, I should be OK. But there will always be an element of fear and we will always need courage before we do the thing. So for those of you who think because I've been on the radio now for over a year, I've been podcasting now for over six years and I've been doing public speaking for a very long time.

For those of you who think I just step on stage and it's easy and I don't need a dose of courage, you are wrong. In fact, I remember the first time I had to address an audience of 1600 when I was discussing with organizers. I was like 1006. I was now wondering, I say my mind Tavishima, honestly, I've even addressed 500 before. So what I did was we went ahead with the whole thing, the same market details. Then the next day, because my kids were home, then I told them, you know, I'm going out,

I'm going, I'm going to do a recce. I say, what's a recce? And I say recce. Reconnaissance is all we used to do as wedding photographers. Before you shoot at the venue for the first time, you go out and you scalp the venue. How big, how small, how high is the ceiling? Are the walls white, black? Would there be any problems? Any nice places where you can do portraits? You know, those simple sorts of things. So I decided to do a recce.

I went to the venue just to look at it, just to see what 1006 feels like because I'd never spoken in front of 1600 people. Then when I got there, I was like, oh, because it turns out that, you know, it's a simple haul, the kind of things would shoot back in my wedding photography days. I was like, he was like, there's no problem now I got this. So I found good reason to go ahead because I went to go and scout the place and I went to and I saw that OK, if 1006 is this kind of hall, it's not that bad.

It's a kind of venue I would even normally have shot at as a wedding photographer. So I found courage. Then the speech went off well, now I have confidence. The next time they said Tavish and Malcolm and speak in front of 1006 or 2000, I'll say and 2000 and is all the same 1/6/2001 eight. What's the difference? Because I've done it before and I have confidence. So you can find lots of good reasons to go ahead whenever you are scared.

Now, if you are a newbie, you are a jam bite. This is your first time selling. This is your first time in business. This is your first time in selling, in sales, in business. My advice is, unfortunately, I have to bend with your gas in this case. Yeah, you need to find some courage. But don't worry, the confidence will come later. Confidence will come as you build competence. For those of you who've been listening to the podcast for a while and you're familiar of familiar of Tom Hopkins and his frameworks, because I talk about Tom Hopkins quite a bit.

Competence, credibility, competence. The competence will come. Just continue to build. So if you're new to selling, new to sales, new to business, there are a couple of things that you need to keep doing over and over again until you get confidence. So #1 prospecting. Prospecting is when you try and figure out who might be interested in your product or your service. Then you come up with a strategy for how you're going to talk to those people and how you, you know, start off the conversation.

Whether online or offline, you need to do prospecting over and over and over and over again so that you get confident in prospecting. Lifting up the phone to dial A stranger to try and sell something is hard and it's scary. It will only get easy the more you do it over time. So the salesperson that you see who grabs the phone and he handles the conversation masterfully is because the guy's been doing it for a while, the paper's been doing it for a while.

Somebody who's been doing sales 15 years and somebody who has been doing sales 15 days, there's a difference. Relax, you will get there. So you need to do prospecting over and over and over again. Another thing that you need to practice over and over again so that you gain confidence is need analysis or being consultative with people. Being consultative with people just means when you're in front of someone, you need to be able to figure them out, suss them out, listen to them, ask questions, know what the problem is so that you can make an effective recommendation.

I was talking to Miss Oma recently. She's a listener of the podcast, and she used to be in the beauty space. She's currently now the manager of a store where they sell electronics. And it's a conversation, you know, that we had about the people that she's now managing. Your people need to be more consultative. You don't just tell people who come into the shop, buy this fridge because Thermocool is the best. Who told you Thermocool is the best?

Even if Thermocool is the best, is it the best for this particular person that you're talking to? You have to get good at doing need analysis and figuring out who it is that you're talking to. Because even if Thermocool is the best fridge, there are some people that OK, which other fridge is there? Phillips. There are some people that Phillips is the best fridge for them. So you need to learn how to be consultative. So the more you start talking to people, asking them questions,

trying to figure them out, trying to figure out what they need, the better you will get and the more confident you will get. You also need to. Another thing you need to do over and over and over again to get confidence is you need to do lots of proposals and lots of presentations. The proposal or a presentation is not part of the selling conversation or the selling relationship where you say auger, Madame Bros. Sir, based on what we have said so far, if my understanding is correct, if XYZ are the problems that we're trying to solve, then I think that option one, option two, option three, either of them are going to be good for you because they will help you solve ABC problems.

And we're going to do that. We're going to be able to do that. Option A will require XYZ investment. Option B will require this. Option C will require this. So a proposal or a presentation is the stage where you say, if I understand you correctly, this is how we can solve your problem and this is what will be required of you. And of course, this is what we are going to do in return to help you solve this problem or achieve your vision.

That is what proposal is. You have to do that over and over and over and over again so that you can build confidence. Then another thing that you ought to practice. And in fact, Nigerians, Nigerian people, my brothers and sisters, we need to practice this one because for some reason, I see I'm in the same boat because in the beginning I was like that too as a young wedding photographer, even as a young lawyer. OK, well, as a young layer, I

was my old guy who used to close deals, so that was not my own problem. But as a young wedding photographer, he quickly became our own problem. I'll make a proposal. We'll look at samples, you know, look at everything. And once I dazzle them with all my fizzy, I'll now keep quiet and lean back. And then the bride will say those those dreaded words. So we say I'll get back to you. And of course, we all know that when people say I'll get back to you from there, you enter into ghosting.

Don't be picking call again or you know how to pursue the conversation again. I didn't know how to secure commitments and lots of you manage young brothers and sisters listening to this podcast. You don't know how to secure commitments. So it's something you have to do over and over and over again so that you can gain confidence. You need to get into the habit of trying to secure commitments. So after you do the proposal,

which is Bros SA Madam OGA buying committee, panel of buyers, you know, whoever you're addressing, if I understand the situation correctly, the main problems we're trying to achieve is ABC and 123. If that is the case, this is how our product and our service can help you achieve that. We can do that by exploring options 1-2 and three. Just follow me for a bit. Let's try and figure out which option will suit you the best.

Option A will require this. Option B will require this. Option C will require this. You will have to do this. We will have to do this. The investment required for option A will be 2.5 million. The investment required for option B will be 4.5. The investment required for option C will be 6.8. Then the part about securing commitments is where you start doing trial closes or where you start trying to narrow things down and where you start trying to get them to commit to something.

So when you start asking questions, like for the options we have discussed so far, option A, option B, option C, where do you think you fall within that spectrum? You're not telling the person buy now, pay now what? You're beginning to narrow things down. You're beginning to get somebody to commit to something small. You didn't say give me the money, make the transfer. You just ask for a small commitment. Of the options that we have looked at so far, where do you fall?

Of the options that we've looked like, looked, looked at, which one do you like? Of the options that we've looked at so far, what matches the allocation that you guys had in mind? You know something, but you're beginning to narrow things down. Small, small, small. You'll be need to get people to commit to something, no matter how small. You need to do this over and over and over and over again so you can get confidence.

All right, it's been 15 minutes. Let me bring this. We're close. Summary. What I want to achieve in this podcast recording is this. For those of you who are newbies, even if you're not a newbie, you have a certain level of experience. Stop trying to compare yourself to smooth talkers or stop trying to compare yourself to people who are smoother than you. These people have had a very long time to get there. What you just need to do at your own stage is gather some courage and look and move forward.

Look for some reasons, some good reasons why you should be going ahead and let me moving forward. Don't worry, the more you do, the more confidence you get. The confidence will take care of itself over time. Stop looking at the mirror and stop chanting and stop trying to manufacture confidence. Look for reason just to gather some courage. That's all. The confidence will come then. Some of you might not like this, but I have to say it for now anyway.

When you become advanced in sales, no problem. But for now that you're a beginner, please stop listening to motivational speakers. Motivational speakers mean well and they're teaching lots of advanced techniques when it comes to elocution, carriage, body language, spatial control, special awareness, what else? What else? Manifesting Abby They mean well. But The thing is, if you listen to plenty of motivational speakers right now as you're a newbie, you'll get into plenty of trouble because you're going to head into situations with false confidence.

Meanwhile you have no actual competence in the matter. When I was a secondary school, they used to say empty barrel. If you listen to motivational speakers, you end up becoming an empty barrel. You look in the mirror, you hype yourself up, you're feeling good, you puff up your chest. If you're a guy, you wear your correct suit, you strut into the situation. You're feeling all confident, all confidence in the world. And then people are impressed by your confidence.

But when? But then by the time you open your mouth, the lack of experience will begin to show and everything will start to crumble because you don't have actual competence in the matter. You have not done the thing. So motivational speakers, motivational speaking is good, but it's not what you need for now. There are some fundamentals. There are some basics that you need to master when it comes to sales and selling. Master those foundational things first.

After that, you cannot worry about whether you should wear black suit or pinstripe suit. You now worry about whether you should do power poles or whether you should stand with your arms crossed. You now worry about whether you're manifesting to the universe or whether you are calling on you know, whatever you cannot worry about special awareness and how you use the stage or how you use your props or how you use your microphone.

All our advanced techniques is not for now. For now, learn the fundamentals and you'll be fine. But please just know that this whole thing of and get confidence that no, no, no, no, confidence doesn't come before. Confidence comes after you do the thing. So your job is just to make sure that you do the thing as often as you can get lots of reps. And if you want to know the kinds of things that you should keep on repeating and doing over and over and over to get better ad sales, I've already spoken about a couple of them.

So pause this thing, rewind. I'll be start again and listen and you should be OK. So thank you very much for listening again. I'm Tava Shima Ayede, the host of the podcast. Remember, if you'd love to connect with me, you can call. You can send me a text message or WhatsApp message on 08064662140. I'm available for questions, comments, queries, or collaborations. And if you enjoy all the things that we're talking about over here so far, please subscribe to the podcast on Spotify, on Apple iTunes or YouTube or wherever it is that you listen to the podcast.

Also, please give your boy a review. I mean I have 4000 subscribers, only 90 of you have given me a review on Spotify. Like come on now. Help you boy. Help you boy. All right, so that's it. Thank you very much for your time and attention. I will catch you all some other time.